Or at least have been for years.
They tell me, "Don't get old."
Yet I feel it in my bones.
My back aches, my knees are sore...
and I see the white hairs sneaking in,
I still feel young in my heart.
"Don't get old, it takes me four hours
just to get out of bed." They need
me, and are lonely. Desperate
for me to connect to them.
I was young when I needed them,
they didn't need me then. Now,
I'm older, and it feels nice to be needed.
They're all dying, slowly - painfully...
It's sad to hear their tells, their pain,
though they don't want to hear mine.
They can only handle so much.
Weekly calls on the weekends.
They always say, "I wish you lived closer."
I had thought the same thing, when I was younger...
I wish I knew you then.
They walked away, lived their lives,
and left a young boy alone
with a raging monster. Do I really
owe them anything? Why do I feel guilty?
I close my eyes and am thankful,
I don't live closer. I feel death
approaching me... the irony...
They're dying, they have been for years -
but I'll be the one dead.. .like they were
when I was young. Lost and gone,
unknown... abandoned.
Why wait until your dying,
to connect? No legacy left,
nothing but contempt. I placed
my heart in ice, and let my rage
freeze... just so they can die -
In peace...
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