I'm feeling dark tonight...
Dysfunction
He grabbed my shoulder with his greenish hand. My heart raced as my eyes opened wide, and I sat up in bed breathing hard, gasping for air. He's been haunting me for years. I see him not only in my dreams, but he appears in crowds during the day.
He laughs at me, manically with rotting teeth. His skin tinted green and eyes yellowish, bulging out. Why does he follow me everywhere? I don't know.
Memories flood in all the time. He was in the war. His one moment of action is when he took a piss while on guard duty and bullets flew past his head. It was during the Tet offensive. He didn't speak of anything else. He wanted me to join the army. I was an anarchist then. We got a long quite well.
I saw him try at life a few times, here and there. He loved my mother. I know he did, in his own way. She, well... she just is incapable of love. What do you expect from an alcoholic though? Dramatic scenes in public were her specialty... she always made him look like a dope. He made himself look like one. Why did he love her? I do not know.
He took his life when she left him. I was still living with him at the time. Luckily I didn't find the body, she did. Unfortunately, she shared too much imagery with me, and now I'm haunted by it. He cries out in regret to me all the time.
He is now the color of Army Green, and he talks like a machine. Constantly pushing me towards joining the fight for our country. As he put it, so eloquently, "You'll get to see the world." Really? I rather not see the world, I rather not see you, and I rather be free from this curse you placed upon me.
Uniform, he's always in uniform with a pistol in his hand. He points it at me, demands me to get a life. Who is he to demand this of me? He's dead... he doesn't have life. So why? I always ask myself why? I can't comprehend, I can't understand... I can't grasp reasoning.
I'm losing it. My mom points her finger at me and says, "You're just like him." What's that supposed to mean? His pistol begins to appear in my room at night. It is sitting on top of my dresser. I have no clue where it came from, but it's there! It's calling to me... and I hear her words echoing in my mind, "You're just like him."
I scream! Primal and enrage I run out of the house. I run down the street, and do not look back. I find a hotel, and rent a room. I sit down upon the bed, pull back the covers, and there's his pistol. It's waiting for me.
My eyes bulge out of my head, and I feel the insanity racing in. It doesn't make sense, no of it makes sense. I can't rationalize it away... I hear the echo's, "You're just like him." I see fingers pointing at me, I see his green tint flesh upon mine. I look in the mirror.
Horror! Terrible horror fills my heart. I see his reflection in the mirror. I rub my eyes in disbelief and look again... it's him, I am him.
I break.
